3 on Thursday: Digital Detoxes, Storytelling, & Self-Kindness

Hey friends,

Happy Thursday! Been a rainy week here in Minneapolis.

Quote of the week:

"If I have to tell you, then I lose. But if I can show you, then I win" - Stephen King

3 Things:

1. I finished a digital detox weekend with my friends earlier this week. 5 guys in one house, 48 hours, no phones, no social media, no technology at all.

    

   You do a lot more thinking when you don't have your phone as an easy escape (who would've thought). And the fun level was through the roof because no one was distracted. Would highly recommend.

    

2. I've been trying to get better at storytelling. According to writer Aaron Sorkin (who did The Social Network, West Wing, Moneyball) there are 3 key elements of a story: Intention, obstacle, and stakes.

    

   All your favorite movies live by this (e.g. boy wants to save his friends and family (intention) from an evil wizard who wants to kill him (obstacle) and if he fails the whole wizarding world will be destroyed (stakes) [Harry Potter]).

    

   But even the best stories in everyday life have them (e.g. I wanted to ask my crush to prom (intention), but I was super nervous (obstacle), and if she said no I’d look like an idiot in front of the whole school (stakes)).

    

   When telling a story, make sure the include all these elements. The bigger the obstacle and the bigger the stakes, the more compelling the story. And it’s not about how big they are in reality, but rather how big they are in your mind. In the example above, for some people it may not seem like a big deal to ask their crush to prom, but if our imaginary character is terrified and has never asked a girl out before, then it’s a much bigger obstacle, and we’re proportionally more invested.

    

3. Many people have heard the advice “Treat yourself like a friend you’re responsible for helping” (i.e. from Jordan Peterson or others). This has always sounded good, but I have trouble putting it into practice. My mind beats myself up before I even have time to react.

    

   The other day I heard a new tactic to make this more tangible from Peter Attia. Anytime you’re being hard on yourself, pull out your phone and record a voice memo talking to yourself the way you’d talk to a friend going through the same thing. He said after 6 months of this he’d practically solved his self-flagellation.

   I’ve been adding this in recently, and something about recording a voice memo, out loud, makes it much more tangible and helpful. I’ll report back on future progress.

    

Tweet I Enjoyed:

What I'm up to:

Currently trying Joe Rogan's Daily Routine for a new YouTube video. His kale shakes are one of the worst tasting foods I've ever eaten. I feel healthy though :)

Cheers,

Ben

P.S. You don't have to feel confident to do something. Just do it.